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Nothing last forever in this world, and sometimes as much as we would like to think that the one person we’re with is the soul-mate, final love and the person that completes your existence, sometimes (more times than not) it ends up not being the case. What sucks more than a once perfect relationship suddenly ending? If you didn’t do the breakup, or you were pretty much dumped. Break ups are easier to handle when you initiated the break up, or it was mutual – not sure if those really happen, but you get my point.
So you got dumped. Whether it was sudden or you saw it coming it’s still something that hit you hard, and if you’re a guy it definitely gives your ego a nice sucker punch. The world at that time might seem like it’s ending, but not to worry it’s definitely not. And before you know it, you’ll be completely over this person. So how we get over the ex? Well for starters here’s what you should definitely not do —>This.
So what should you do?
- Deal with the pain and hate.
It’s very normal after every break up to have a huge amount of pain, and possibly hate towards the other person. Do you want to cry? By all means do so. Scream and shout? Do that too. You can write out your thoughts bashing the ex, and think all kinds of negative things towards him or her. Listen to sad love songs and cry. It’s all a phase. But the most important thing is not to let anyone see it. No bashing or pity Facebook statuses, no sub tweets, YouTube videos or blog posts. Do all your crying and hate behind closed doors. No one wants to see you look pathetic, and those that do just want to be entertained.
2. Keep your space
There’s nothing worse than hanging around your ex hoping that somehow feelings will come back or that one night of magic will rekindle everything. If you have mutual friends, try as much as possible to stay away from them especially if you’re bound to either talk about him/her, or even worse see him/her. Deleting folks off Facebook is kind of childish but you can certainly use that limited profile function and block the news feed. No texts, IMs, tweets, etc. Call it a detox if you will. Most importantly and this is where most of us fail… No sex with the ex!! None at all. Maybe I should’ve said that first, but oh well.
3. Talk to friends & hangout
Now when we say talk to friends, we don’t mean call every friend you know and start crying about your ex. It’s very pathetic looking to have to deal with someone whining on and on about their ex and why they left and blah blah blah BS. Save it for the shrink or for your journal. But besides that hanging out with friends is very healthy. Go out for a drink or two, BBQs, house gatherings, bars, brunch, park, etc. Anything your friends invite you to do, is game for you. Unless of course you’re bound to see the ex.
4. Write down your feelings and analyze.
Your best friend is your journal during a break up. If you think it, or want to say it out loud, then get a pen and write it down. A lot of times during a break up you want to say a lot of things to the ex, and explain some things, but believe me saying anything to an ex that dumped you in hopes of amending things is the wrong way to go. In addition, writing down stuff also gives you the opportunity to analyze the relationship and sometimes the light bulbs go off and you might realize that it was going south for a while before the break up happened. Besides it’s good documentation so you can see how silly you sounded years later.
5. Stay active.
They say one of the best diets is a break up. Partly because you never eat and you’re depressed or you ‘ginger’ yourself into getting involved in some activity. Running, basketball, football, cycling, volleyball etc. Always wanted to do some sort of outdoor activity? Well here’s your chance to do it and the best thing is that you get to preoccupy your mind with something other than the thought of your ex. Every moment you stay idle is time for you to dwell on the break up or even worse make a mistake and call/text the ex. Thou shall not do that. Plus in a scenario where you didn’t have much control (the break up) this provides something you can actually control and get some sense of power into your life.
6. Explore other options
Now I’m not saying go out there and stay desperately looking for a rebound or if you’re a guy, looking for the next piece of ass to boost your masculine ego. But if there are people that are interested in you or you are interested, it doesn’t hurt to hang out and explore those options. Now obviously you’d definitely want to take things slow, but the company will help a lot (as long as you don’t bring up the ex). A feeling that there are other fish in the sea will definitely help you get over the “my life is over” break up feeling. Plus you never know, your new friends and such might end being a whole lot better for you than you imagined. After all, they say the best way to get over an ex love is to find a new one. That’s probably about 40% true, but there’s some truth in it.
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